Marriage – Until Death Do Us Part

The argument over gay/same-sex marriage rages on to the point people are losing their jobs – as in the case of Mozilla CEO, Brendan Eich who was forced to resign for his contributions to Prop 8 in California(essentially banning gay marriage). In every war there are civilian casualties – in this one the greatest casualty might be that of speech and those who love one another. This battle has put family members at odds with one another.

Let's talk a little about marriage, itself. For the first half of this country's history, people simply went to their priest or priestess, depending on the religion, for their marriage or hand-fasting. In some cases couples simply cohabited. These unions were often recorded in the family bible, along with the names of future children. When government began keeping records, this is where they went for information.

After the slaves were freed, and sometimes before in free areas, government began to notice that black and white couples were getting married. There were those who thought this joining might tarnish white purity. For that reason they began passing laws to forbid these unions. It was for this reason government decided to take over marriages from religious organizations. There were instances where government forbade those of different faiths to marry.

Today, a marriage performed by a government bureaucrat, or one by a priest or priestess, are equally legal. The government decides who can or can't take part in these government sanctioned marriages. They decide who can take part in the privileges set aside for those married couples. A Chief Justice noted 1500 regulations and laws that pertain only to married people.

A marriage was intended to be something much more personal than a set of government privileges. A marriage is suppose to be about the combining of two lives. It is about two people falling in love and joining for the rest of their lives. Marriage is not about the potential for children, but two people who wish to show a commitment to one another. A marriage is the promise of life together. Many children are produced outside of marriage.

I once participated in one of those government sanctioned marriages and from the day of “I do” until the day of “I'm done” only eleven months had passed. It cost a whopping $250 dollars in 1975 to a lawyer for government to end that marriage. I vowed that day to never again participate in a government sanctioned marriage and I haven't.

My next long term relationship, not sanctioned by government, was for “Until death do us part.” You know you are committed when you hold their hand while vomiting after Chemo. You know you are married when the person to whom you have committed, awakens one day and doesn't know your name. You know you have committed to marriage when you raise that person's adopted Hispanic child as your own. You know you were married when you sit holding the hand of that child at the funeral. I needed no government to tell me that I was married – I needed no government paper to know that I had committed “Until death do us part.”

It's time that all Americans are treated equally and end government sanctioned marriages. The couple who cohabitates should enjoy the same rights as those who stood before some government bureaucrat offering meaningless words. We have contractual law that can cover all possibilities that is now covered by marriage laws. Marriage and being responsible for children aren't the same thing. Taking care of the life you created is a personal responsibility, and those who fail to provide that should be punished. Marriage has never, and never will, make good parents, especially one sanctioned by some oppressive government that decides who can or cannot commit under the same legal rights as their neighbor.

By demanding laws be changed to allow gay marriage you are simply calling for an expansion of government power. The demand should be to get government out of marriage. A marriage should be between two people in love standing before family and friends while making a life long commitment, not some before stranger because you need government privileges.

No matter if you are Christian, Atheist, or Pagan, you should reserve marriage for your own beliefs, and not those of government. Marriage is much more personal than a government certificate. When the person to whom you have committed sits before you bald and ill from Chemo, no government paper will make life better. In some instances it can even make it worse. The next time you find someone to whom you want to commit, forget government and make it personal – “Until Death Do US Part.”